oh the weather outside is weather

Oh hey! So guess what the weather is outside? If you've seen "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" you understand how hysterical I'm being, but honestly, the weather is C R A P crap.
It was real pretty when I first got up this morning. Big huge snow castle Hallmark dreamworld-like. Then, the "snow" turned into "dique snow" which turned into dique "wintry mix" which turned into f-ing rain.
[sidenote: I superglued my fingers together today]
You know what middle schoolers do when it rains and snows? While they remain unable to verbally express how water goes through physical phase changes, they do grasp that water freezes onto fallen snow in such a perfect way that snowballs are relatively effortless.
I can demonstrate with the equation below:

rain + fallen snow + middle schoolers = lots of snowballs at 3:00 PM

Plus, our kids were ducking behind cars, running into intersections, what have you, in a huge snowball war. Because playing in traffic is irresistable when you're 12; I know, because I remember.

When I was 12...yikes. I was more uncoordinated and goofy-looking than I am now. Well, that's probably an exaggeration, but let's be serious. Who is more goofy than a preadolescent? Especially a preadolescent on rollerblades. At the nubile age of 12, maybe 11, I was rollerblading (give me a break, it was 1996) in this big parking lot about 10 blocks from my house. I think the place was called Metairie Village; I'm not really sure. I was rollerblading and not looking where I was going (pretty typical). Psychologists refer to this phenomenon, which develops around the onset of adolescence, as the "Invincibility" delusion, which goes hand-in-hand with most adolscents' preoccupation with the self. Not only do you think you're invincible, which causes you to do stupid things. You also believe that life is just one big stage, and you're the star. I forgot what that delusion is called, but it's legit, you can check out my references.

Anyway, so I got hit but a Prius. Yep. I got hit by a car. On rollerblades. Like, I was on the rollerblades, not the car. I remember falling, the car honking, me getting up, and the car driving away. Now that I think about it, that guy was a big jerk. What are you gonna do, right?

Kinda forgot for awhile that I got hit by a car. But when I saw a 6th grader from the other school dash out into not only the middle of the street but a 4-way intersection, I had major deja vu. No rollerblades, but snow is pretty comparable in terms of constraints on mobility.

What else is new? I want to forget Valentine's Day and have a "Be Miami Valentine" Day party. I think it would be almost as funny as seeing a video of me falling down after getting hit by a Prius. Everyone would have to dress in trashy Miami Vice gear, hook up meaninglessly, and play '80s music. It's what Michael Scott would call a win-win-win situation if he was reading out of Tobey's handbook.

Here's to hoping the weather is real nice.