this one time on the subway

It's been a few weeks, but your writers felt that they should share the fact that yours truly (B$) fell down the subway steps on the 28th day of August, 2008. Due to hospital incompetance, no emergency contacts were contacted. Fantastic.

It went a little something like this: your writer, with bleeding nose, insisted she could go to school despite a raging concussion. The MTA refused and called an ambulance. It should be noted that your humble writer fell on her own accord, sadly, no banana peels or anything in her way. She also notably left her cell phone at home. Post-strapping onto the long-flat-we-think-you-may-have-head-trauma board, she was assured that her emergency contact had been called. She arrived to the hospital, was rapidly scanned, CTed, what have you. Was shuttled away to the convalescent ward, not unlike a stable, where she stared for close to 6 hours, completely immobilized in her neck brace, at the ceiling listening to people cry, wail, and threaten to "tear these ____ up because I ain't gonna be strapped here it's against the law." (Nurse's reply: "Shut up Walter you're drunk!")

Imagine her shock when she is rescued! Your writer had never been so surprised. She thought it was the hospital drugs. Oh, emergency contacts? What are those? Turns out everyone who SHOULD have been called freaked, and when the phone was missing too, B$ was reported missing. 15 hours and many wits' ends later, she ends up in a hospital room, her uncle at her side, filling out some forms thanks to some great friends with awesome detective skills.

It should be noted that all neck braces have 4 settings, that range from 3-6. Not 1-4, 3-6. 6=tall. 5=regular. 4=short. And 3? 3 = neckless. Your humble writer is officially neckless. How does someone wear a NECK brace if one is rendered neckless? Maybe the answers lie in the same black hole that my emergency contacts fell into three separate times.